About 3 weeks ago, I turned 25. The big 2-5! If you hear one particular person tell it, you would think I didn’t let anybody hear word about my birthday lol but that is SO not true!
At first, when it dawned on me that I would be turning 25, I freaked out. I analysed and over-analysed my life to the point of putting myself in a bad mood. Heavily pensive, all I could think of was everything I could or should be/ have done by now that I am not or I haven’t already.
Well, thank God for self-preservation. I do a great job of beating up on myself, but even I can only do that for so long. With a little encouragement from MeeMee, my mom, my sister & my friends, I finally got into the birthday spirit!
It probably goes without saying but your 25th birthday is not the time to wonder about the philosophy behind birthdays. Not the time to ask yourself which authority made 1st, 5th, 7th, 10th, 13th, 16th, 18th, 21st, 25th, 30th birthdays a big deal? Don’t be woke about it, just stop. Life is a gift. On EVERY birthday (your religious beliefs allowing), you should celebrate yourself in some way, no matter how small. This paragraph here is for myself lol just in case I get in a pre-birthday funk again next year.
Finally in the birthday spirit, for some reason, I REALLY wanted to do a photoshoot! What do you think about birthday shoots? I was fronting at first and it took me a while to admit that I genuinely wanted to do one. Capture my youth, you know? Add to my arsenal of photos to look back on, probably with my children or nieces or nephews or students who might want to underrate me in the next 30 years, haha! I also wanted the foil balloons, corny as they may be. (Fun fact: my balloons are still going strong- 4 weeks in. There’s not enough space for the 3 of us in my room lol but I can’t bring myself to deflate them)
Yes, everyone appears to be carrying balloons on their birthday now. See Instagram, blogs and of course Pinterest. BUT I’ve lived long enough to know that not doing something simply because everybody is doing it is silly and probably just as silly as doing something simply because everybody is doing it. To borrow the words of my fellow winged human, Kitchen Butterfly: “Live your life, abeg!”
Posing is still awkward for me and will probably always be. This photoshoot experience was A LOT better than my first one here. Mostly because I wasn’t in a hurry. A photoshoot is definitely not a thing to rush, I learnt this and many other lessons from that first shoot which I shared in this post: Lessons From Our First Photoshoot. Another good thing about this shoot was, I worked with 2 of my favourite people so I was super comfortable. A little shy/ anxious/ awkward but definitely comfortable at the same time (do you understand?)
My lovely cousin, K did my makeup and her brother D, assisted by his friends, worked the camera. They did so good, I believe our grandmother would be proud! You can call my friend L the Creative Director. She is my pro bono stylist and insisted on the balloons. Pretty awesome crew, guys. I’m their Manager now. Message me if you want to hire them! firstname.lastname@example.org 😀
One thing I will definitely work on in this my new year is practising positivity and gratitude. There is always, always something to be grateful for. This can be hard to see when you are not in a positive frame of mind. Now, I don’t know which comes first- the positivity or the gratitude but the two go together.
Thinking about it now, my 16 year old self would expect me to be this cosmopolitan babe living a life worthy of a sitcom, haha. No, I haven’t let her down. There’s still time for that! When I freak out, it’s not that I don’t want to grow old or older. I wouldn’t stop the clock if I could. I am actually enjoying the growing up process, overall.
Yes, I worry a lot (way more than I’d like) about not being able to afford the fun & experiences to enjoy the great freedom of my 20s. I’m very concerned about building the security I need to get to the next level. It’s not always comfortable (pshh half the time, it’s not) but you know what? I feel more like myself these days. In retrospect, my late teens were about discovering/ reacting to the things I realised I did not want. I love that I have more clarity now about who I am and what I am about.
Am I saying I have things figured out? LOL NO. HELLLLLLL NO. Maybe it’s the leftover birthday spirit but after flailing for such a long time, these days, I feel like I might be getting the hang of things at last. We’ll see. 🙂