Why It Took Me Two Years to Go Natural

Four years ago, I went natural in May, 2012. Wow. That long? It wasn’t a spur on the moment thing. It took me two years to go natural! Why? Because I had skewed misconceptions in my head, probably the same as you have right now, or the ones you had.

Since then, I’ve been on my natural hair journey with its ups and downs. I meet people who tell me they love my hair and would love to be natural but absolutely cannot try it for themselves for one reason or another. I tell them that they’re wrong but I don’t push it because, it’s a process. When you’re ready, you’re ready.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a step and on this particular journey, I believe the first step has to be taken in your mind, truly saying “YES” in your heart, deciding to start.

So. What are/were your fears about going natural? I want you to tell me, so I’ll share mine.

It took me 2 years to go natural because I thought:Read More

Going Back To Natural? Let’s Go!

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Hello lovelies!

We have come to the end of the Going Back To Natural series. Every single day of this week has been dedicated to enlightening, encouraging and inspiring everyone considering reclaiming their kinks, going back to natural hair.

This has been an interesting week. We’ve looked at what hair is and how relaxers work, how to transition from relaxed to natural hair, creating a healthy hair regimen and choosing hair products. You can catch the entire series here.

I’m still here for you- always an email away thekinkandi@gmail.com, but as this series comes to a close, I thought I’d say some last words:

1. Start Now.

Whether you’re transitioning, or you’re happy remaining on #teamrelaxer, I want you to be on #teamGoodHair, because good hair is healthy hair. Your healthy hair journey starts now.

yaya
Yaya of life!

2. Be Ready.

Before you go, I’d love for you to be ready. Have a few basic products and tools that you’ll need. Also have an idea of what your regimen is going to be. So you don’t freak out after.

3. Natural hair does not equal healthy hair.

Being Natural is best for hair, but just because your hair is in its natural state doesn’t mean your work is done. You need to keep your hair happy and healthy with gentle appropriate TLC.

Aevin Dugas and her fro- the world's biggest fro.
Aevin Dugas and her fro- the world’s biggest fro.

4. Going back to Natural doesn’t mean you’re on your way to a full head of Bohemian curls.

It doesn’t help that in the media when natural hair is represented, it’s all about loose curls and clumped spirals. These are beautiful, yes but the whole point of going back to natural is going back to YOUR natural. It may be really curly and it may not. And that’s great. Because that’s YOU. You leave relaxed hair to be free only to become a slave to the perfect curl definition- that’s not freedom, love. Be ready to embrace your hair, your curl pattern as it is.

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Natasha of Mane Moves TV

5. There’s no hair genie in a bottle.

The (long) healthy hair you want is not in a bottle. The products will tell you what they want, and some of them may help but the real factors that affect your hair’s health are in your hands. Healthy hair practices make all the difference. Be ready to develop a regimen and the consistency to stick to it.

6. Your hair is primarily your responsibility.

If you’re a female like me living in Nigeria, chances are, you have no idea how to care for your own hair. You know how to brush and roll that Brazillian but I’m guessing you don’t know a lot about your own hair- relaxed, let alone kinky-curly. Fact is, most of our hair stylists know how to beautify our heads with extensions, but they know little or nothing about what our own hair actually needs. They don’t know how to deal with natural hair so guess what? You’re about to become your hair’s main stylist and caregiver. Don’t be scared, you can do this. As am I. And many many women around the world. If you have a stylist you can trust, please don’t turn your back on them now. With or without a stylist, you need to be in tune with your hair.

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Loc’d hairspiration: Synethia!

7. Listen to your hair.

Sounds like crazy talk? I know. Your hair is unique, hair speaks. If it likes or hates a product, it will show it. You just need to pay attention. 😉

8. Please Study.

As you listen to your hair, you NEED to do a little bit of studying to be able to discern what it’s saying. Read blogs, subscribe to newsletters, join forums. There are tonnes of information available on the internet (Thank Goodness!) and amazing resources. The Natural Hair community is a very open one, people are very eager to swap hair stories and experiences.

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9. Document your hairscapades!

It’s important that you document your experience, take a lot of photos! Keep a hair journal, start a blog! On your down days, you can look at old photos or old entries and see how far you’ve come. 🙂

xchrisette

10. Stay positive!

There’ll be days when you’ll hate your hair, days when you’re wondering what the point is, days you want to just rush back to the creamy crack. Stay positive, put your relaxer and texturiser out of sight- give them away, trash them! I had Hairspiration folders when I was transitioning. On my phone, on my computer- I became a fro spotter. I also had a board on Pinterest. On my lowest days, these people that don’t even know me gave me life.

On the blog, many naturalistas have shared their hair journeys and their hair pictures, very beautiful real life natural hair inspiration. Go meet them here. More hairspiration, you could check out these tumblrs- Le Coil, Klassy Kinks for starters- and on facebook, Natural Nigerian and the Kinky Apothecary.

You can do this. At your own time, on your own terms. You are beautiful, you can be fierce, you can own those kinky curls! 😉 And best believe that when you do wear your hair out, you are encouraging other people to do the same!

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Elle Veezy!

Nigerian curlies, if you need help finding hair products or a hair salon in Nigeria, this here could help.

Till next post,

Love,

AB

xx

Natural Hair Products for Beginners: What You Need & How To Choose

Source: Afrobella

Hey everyone!

It’s Friday already, Day 5 of Going Back To Natural and today, we are talking about products!!

Sorry, I’m not here to give you a list of products to buy to start you off on your natural hair journey. 😛 The truth is, your sister’s favourite hair product may do nothing for you. The product I’m raving about right now may be rejected by my hair in the future. Such is the wonder of our kinks. The lovely fun of product junkie-ism is waiting for you to discover it, but I’m going to just go over a few things to help you make informed decisions.

For a very long time, products were not made for our natural hair types, but now with the big boom in the natural hair revolution, and hair consciousness amongst black women in general, we’ve seen relaxer lines come out with natural lines- and many more products in our interest. When I do Product reviews on the blog, I do it to document my experience for reference in the future, and also, just in case anyone is considering trying the products I used. My experience is in no way a “sure banker” guarantee that a product will work, or not work for you.

The thing is, we write from what we know, so there is a tendency amongst bloggers (I try to fight it) to pass off the facts of one’s experience with something as hard facts for everyone. There are no hard and fast rules about whether a product is good or bad. It’s just important that you know what you’re putting in your hair, how it works, why it works the way it does, and make it work for you.

Ask yourself, what will be your yardstick for choosing products? To my mind, there are three types of naturals in this regard. Which one are you?

1.      You’re natural because you want to live a chemical-free, healthier lifestyle in general, so you’re more interested in all-natural products.
2.      You’re like, the more natural the better, but I’m not anti-chemicals. You’re happy buying products that aren’t all natural, but you will take your time to study and research ingredients. (this is me)
3.      Ingredients? #aintnobodygottimeforthat! I’d try anything, I don’t care what’s in it, just as long as it works!

An all-natural hair stash is a really good thing, mostly. For one, you never have to suffer or worry about suffering from gross product misrepresentation like this. The best we can do with manufactured products is to assume that the makers are being honest.

Depending on your choice of natural products, it can be cheaper or more expensive than buying manufactured products. Though you’re using naturally occurring products, you should note that not everything is good for you just because it’s natural. Naturally occurring products can give you unwanted, and in some cases- life threatening effects.

Essential oils for instance. Women are advised to avoid certain essential oils during pregnancy. Some naturals say honey lightens their hair- some appreciate this, and some don’t like it at all. Apple Cider Vinegar is MEANT to be diluted. Using it on your hair in concentrated form is not going to help you get the best out of it, rather you may be left with an irritated scalp. Read about Dabs of Naija Hair Can Grow’s horrible experience with Neem Oil here.

Did you know that shea butter has latex properties and that some people actually react to this? That for some naturals, natural oils help solve the problem of dandruff whereas in some, it only makes it worse? These are more rare conditions, I admit, but I just want you to keep your eyes open and not just accept anything and everything because it’s natural. Be observant about your experience, and when you google benefits of Fruit X, also google for side-effects. Are we good? Okay.

Natural hair products I think you could try are:

Olive oil and shea butter as sealants (they’re cheap and easily accessible)

Honey is a really good humectant and it makes for a great moisturising deep conditioning treatment.

African black soap, for instance, Dudu Osun as an alternative to regular shampoo.

On the flip side, let’s talk about commercial products, products with long lists of ingredients.

Quick tip:

Ingredients are listed in order of their proportions in a product, from the greatest to the least. If you see a product that claims to be some Castor Oil hair wax for instance, and you read the ingredients and see that Castor is three ingredients away from being the last on the list, clearly, that product is like Castor flavoured. You’re buying it for the Castor goodness and you’re getting a whole lot of other things that your hair doesn’t even want or need.

Always read the ingredients, particularly noting the first 3.

Having said this, let’s talk about the big bad 3. By the big bad 3, I’m talking about three ingredients that have been singled out in the Natural hair community as the bad guys.

Product labels proclaim: No Mineral oil, No silicones, No parabens!

As a new natural, if you can, it’s not a bad idea to avoid them in the beginning, but you can eventually make them work for you.

Mineral oil is derived from petroleum (crude oil). It is an oil and cannot moisturise, because it is well, an oil. Moisture = water and if you like, aloe vera which has water in it soooo…

Mineral oil in concentrated form (think Vaseline, Apple Hair Cream, Dax, Bergamot, any regular supermarket pomade you know), should be used as a SEALANT. That is, you should already have moisture on your hair that you are locking in. It can also be a styling product, it’s just not a moisturiser!

Mineral oil in hair products is meant to play the same role as other emollients, so if you read the ingredient list and you’re still wary, as long as mineral oil is not so way up the list, you may still go ahead to make your purchase.

Silicones are products that end in –cone, for instance, dimethicone. They provide great slip for detangling, but they aren’t water soluble. By this I mean, water alone cannot rinse them off.

The thing with mineral oil and silicones is that they coat the hair shaft and are difficult to wash off properly with a hair regimen that doesn’t accommodate shampoo. By wash off properly, I mean that even when on the face of it, after a co-wash, your hair is clean, little parts of these substances may be deposited in your hair shaft and you won’t know it until your hair starts complaining of product build up!  Mineral oil and silicones are not in themselves the enemy. If you must use them, just be ready to shampoo more often.

Parabens are used as preservatives in product formulas. How to identify them? They end in something-paraben. In relatively recent times, certain studies have claimed that parabens are carcinogens- possible causes of cancer. There have also been studies rejecting this proposition, but nobody wants cancer. These fears are definitely not unfounded, but could you read the back of the pack of your new lippie? Or your deodorant or body lotion? I have a good feeling that you’ll find parabens listed there. I’m not saying expose yourself to cancer, I’m saying if you really want to go paraben free- don’t just stop at the hair. Thankfully, there are new substitutes to parabens.

I’m still learning a lot about hair product formulas and how the different ingredients affect our hair. This is a very fascinating area of hair science, and maybe we could have another series about ingredients in the future when I’m much more knowledgeable.

I hope this helps!

Love

AB

Xx

How To Create Your Natural Hair Regimen!

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Hello lovelies, AB and Tolu here!

You are reading the 4th post in the ‘Going Back To Natural’ series. If you missed anything, you could catch up here. 🙂

One very important thing we’ve learnt on our hair journeys and we are pretty sure you’ll soon agree with is: It’s not about what you’re using, but what you are doing. Products are great and fun but the hair you want- that soft, manageable, ball of kinky candy floss is not in a bottle. It’s in the way you care for it, the healthy hair habits you adopt.

A healthy body is really the foundation for healthy hair, but as far as healthy hair habits go today, we’ll be looking at things directly related to your hair care, i.e. the good old regimen that natural girls are always talking about, and how to make one work for you.

If you still remember, Your Hair = Protein + Water + trace elements. Protein gives your hair its strength and structure, Water gives it elasticity. Healthy hair is all about maintaining a Moisture-Protein balance.

There are some basics that every natural’s regimen must accommodate. However, different strokes go for different folks. So it’s up to you to figure out how frequently these things will feature in your regimen.

  1. Moisturise & Seal
  2. Clarify
  3. Condition
  4. Deep Condition

MOISTURISE & SEAL

Your hair needs moisture.

Moisture = water*. Moisturise = to put water in.

If your hair isn’t well moisturised, it is dry and inelastic. As a result, it is brittle (that is, highly prone to breakage) and hard to comb. You need to moisturise your hair as often as necessary.

You can moisturize your hair with: Plain water or some people prefer to use natural Aloe Vera. You could also use a water-based moisturising cream or leave-in conditioner, or an aloe vera based leave-in. (more about products tomorrow)

It’s also important for your hair and skin that you drink lots of water!

AB: When I started my hair journey, I needed to use a leave-in conditioner every day. Now, I don’t. I use a leave-in every 3 days, and spraying my hair with water is fine for every other day.

As you must know, water evaporates when left exposed. This is where sealing comes in.

Sealing is the process of coating the hair to create some kind of barrier, to prevent moisture loss by evaporation. You can seal your hair with an oil e.g. Olive oil, coconut oil or a butter (shea butter, cocoa butter, avocado butter etc)

If you do more sealing than your hair requires, your hair will be greasy and you won’t like that. Also, the barrier created may be too thick, and this would make re-moisturising a little difficult.

How you moisturize & seal may depend on something very important, your hair porosity. Remember when I said hair is layered? Hair has three layers- the cuticle, the cortex and the medulla. The cuticle is the outermost layer of hair. To work, most products need to get into your cortex, and they can only do this by getting past the cuticle.

Some people’s cuticles are very tight and difficult to get through.

Some people’s cuticles are very easy to get through, so easy they’re like a sponge, soaking in the moisture. However, because they are so sponge-y, they also lose moisture really quickly.

Some people’s cuticles have a sense of balance. They absorb moisture well and do really good at retaining it too.

From the three different scenarios I have described, are you beginning to see how we can’t all use the same products? And how your regimen has to be unique to you?

For more about porosity (how to find your porosity, and suggestions as to how to moisturize & seal for your porosity), when you’re ready, you could go read this post I wrote here.

Try not to over-do it though, there is such a thing as over-moisturising! Remember people, the mantra is balance, balance, balance! *lotus position*

CLARIFY

When you use products on your hair, little bits are deposited on your scalp and along hair shaft. You need to clarify to remove all the build-up from your product usage. There are quite a few ways to clarify, the most common being shampooing. This is necessary because build-up clogs up the pores of your hair so that moisture is not easily possible.

Clarifying shouldn’t be done too often as most clarifiers strip the hair of its natural oils and may also leave your hair and scalp really dry.

CONDITION

This, you are no stranger to. After every wash with shampoo, you use a conditioner (I hope!)

Because clarifying is such a thorough process, our hair tends to feel very dry afterwards. This is because it has usually been stripped of its natural oils and moisture. Instant or rinse-out conditioners help fix this by trying to replenish our hair. They are designed to provide a quick fix, to moisturise hair and smoothen the cuticles. However, once they are rinsed off, their yummy ingredients really are washed away, so you still need to moisturise & seal.

So, you may condition after a shampoo, OR you may skip the shampoo and simply condition. This is what is meant by the term Co-washing (yep, Conditioner Washing. Ohhhh)

The reasoning behind co-washing is simply this: Clarifying products like shampoos are great at cleaning. But your hair may not need that kind of intense rub-down on the regular.

I say “may” because again, this depends on you and your situation. Your hair may appreciate co-washing more than the usual shampoo + condition, but then again, it may not. So you try and you see if it works.

If your hair isn’t really dirty, conditioner may be enough for you on most days. But please be sure to clarify when your hair needs it, or say, as a preventive measure, once a month! Product build-up is not pretty!

DEEP CONDITION

Deep conditioning is a very critical part of a hair regimen. Deep conditioning helps to strengthen and improve the elasticity of your hair preventing breakage. It also leaves your hair softer and shinier.

Because Hair = Protein + Water, deep conditioning may be classified under two umbrellas: Protein Deep-conditioning and Moisturising Deep-conditioning.

Your hair may need a protein DC or a moisturising DC or both, depending on your porosity, and what your hair needs at the time. Remember, protein strengthens and moisture improves elasticity.

You can deep-condition with a commercial hair product, or make your own deep-conditioner in your kitchen, or bathroom. For more about Deep-conditioning and for some quick homemade DC recipes, you can read this post, here.

If you’re using a deep conditioner that you bought, please follow the instructions!!

To reap the maximum benefits of your efforts to deep condition, please DC on clean, product-free hair, after a wash. You can DC after a co-wash. And if you just clarified your hair with a shampoo, for instance, you don’t need to use a conditioner before you deep condition. You can just go straight to your DC.

We trust that you’ll soon find your rhythm and make up the perfect regimen, but just in case you still want a starting point, let’s see how this works for you:

  1. Daily- Moisturise & Seal
  2. Co-wash once or twice a week
  3. Clarify once a month or every two weeks
  4. Deep condition once a week
  5. BE CONSISTENT!

Simple enough, I hope? If you have any questions, please sound off in the comments! And we’ll be discussing products in the next post!

Love,

AB and Tolu!

xx