Pursuit of Perfection

Happy Tuesday, guys!

How is the going going? What have you¬†and your hair been up to? ūüôā

I’m still wearing this kinky straight wig. Some people really think it’s my hair lol. At the bank yesterday, someone tapped me¬†and when I turned¬†around, she was like “oh, thank goodness! I thought it was¬†all yours!”

LOL okay lady. What if it was?? What would you have done? ūüėõ

Just kidding. Let’s go off on¬†a bit of¬†a tangent today. Let’s talk¬†about perfection.

See, I’m¬†a bit of a perfectionist. I know it’s not possible to have everything your way,¬†and¬†achieve¬†absolute perfection in everything (okay,¬†anything) but I strive towards it¬†anyway. Even Jesus said, “Therefore ye shall be perfect; as your Father who is in heaven is perfect” (Matthew 5:48). Sometimes, being this way really fuels my drive but more often than not, I get frustrated¬†and¬†abandon whatever it is that I am working on. Lately, I’ve been looking back on¬†all the things I left because I wasn’t on top of them,¬†and I’m beginning to doubt how sustainable this perfectionist lifestyle is.

Like this twist out from¬†January, the day¬†after my visit to Tresses by K. Vera-Cruz (salon review here). My hair was quite dry, but it was somewhat stretched, so I decided to prep for¬†a twist out. When I reviewed the best detangler I’ve ever¬†used, someone suggested I use it with the Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie¬†and Almond oil for a bomb twist out! I skipped the Almond oil, and used just the others.

Twist Out with Curl Enhancing Smoothie + Kinky Curly Knot Today

I applied the products to dry hair and put my hair in chunky twists which I wore overnight. The results:

Twist Out with Curl Enhancing Smoothie + Kinky Curly Knot Today

Twist Out with Curl Enhancing Smoothie + Kinky Curly Knot Today
Frizzy, after separating.

I liked how my hair looked and had fun photographing it. Then, I started worrying¬†about how good the photos really were, and whether the twist out was actually be nice enough to share on the blog, or even on Instagram. I later pushed it to the back of my mind, but every time I came¬†across these photos on my memory card, I asked myself what the issue really was. On the one hand, I started The Kink¬†and I to document my hair journey; the highs¬†and lows innit, so why was it such¬†a big deal? On the other hand, I told myself that nobody wants to see your bad hair days or not so great hair days. If it’s not really good, keep it to yourself.

What do you think? It may very well be true that you would rather see more of the times I get it right than the struggle times in between but, I blog for me too. This wasn’t¬†a perfect twist out, but it was¬†a lot of fun while it lasted. In my last post, I complained¬†about how styling twist outs is¬†always¬†a struggle for me. This day was¬†an exception. I almost forgot about that because I was hung up on whether it was good enough. Now¬†I can’t remember what exactly I did to get this shape lol because I did not document it.

In striving for perfection, I lost my blogging mojo. Not having the perfect graphics, or having a budget for a photographer, not promoting the perfect Instagram aesthetic or having time for Facebook, or to be consistent with my mailing list, I felt very discouraged. It’s like, what’s the point if I don’t execute a blog post perfectly and promote it 10 different ways? I beat myself up on this point till one morning, I realised how unrealistic that was. Why was I imposing the same standards on myself as someone who blogs full time and has staff? Has an actual budget for blogging, and doesn’t have to go through hours of traffic each day? It’s not even fair to compare myself right now, to the old me who had lots of time on her hands, and few responsibilities.

This is not to mean I’m going to just be average or give up oh, but, I’m being a little more gentle with myself. I could dwell on all the ways I’m not perfect, or recognise the progress I’m making. I still believe in trying to do the best I can, but, I am learning that you also have to be patient with yourself while you’re at it.

Twist Out with Curl Enhancing Smoothie + Kinky Curly Knot Today
You’re doing amazing, sweetie!

In the last 12 months, I finally got¬†a better camera, later a prime lens, photo-editing software (thank you, K!) and have started teaching myself how to use it. I spend hours photographing my products, fumbling, just trying to get that perfect shot. Small small, I’m learning design on Canva. It’s not easy but I make time on weekends to write plenty, I just need to get over myself and publish already. Little by little, I’m just trying to get better at doing this little thing that makes me happy.

So. Here’s to not letting perfection get in my way (or yours)! Be patient with yourself this week! Do enjoy the rest of it ūüôā

MeeMee and I will do our best to be consistent with new posts on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Till next time,




6 Replies to “Pursuit of Perfection”

  1. Thanks for sharing this AB. It’s like you just entered my head. Blogging was a fun way for me to get out of work and school. It was my play space where I just go and chill but lately as I strive for perfection ( or is it more competition than perfection..I asked myself this when my mentor commented that I seem to compete with my vision rather than grow towards it), I see blogging as another work that should be done very well. So, I’ve decided to just chill and be myself and let things happen organically. I’ve just saved this post as a reminder to myself! Love it!

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